Light After Life

Exploring the mysteries of Life, Death and Beyond. Afterlife, Mediumship, Spiritualism: Death is not the end; I am but waiting for you for an interval ...

People are different

Share
avatar
Candlelight.kk
.
.

Female
Location : London
Posts : 2152
Points : 3717

People are different

Post by Candlelight.kk on Fri 19 May 2017, 19:54

21 Jul 2015, 20:20
.


"...conflict is the primary engine of creativity and innovation.
People don't learn by staring into a mirror; people learn by encountering difference."
-- Ronald Heifetz



In his book, 'Men, Women and Relationships,' John Gray says, "People are different. Recognizing this fundamental truth is essential for creating positive and loving relationships. In practice, however, ... we demand that the people in our lives feel, think, and behave as we would. And when they react differently we make them wrong or invalidate them; we try to fix them when they really need understanding and nurturing; we try to improve them when instead they need acceptance, appreciation and trust."

We each bring different gifts to this world. We each have different work to do. Our lives are enriched when we can celebrate these differences rather than resent, resist and reject them. As we get more secure in who we are, we get more compassionate toward others.



"Homogeneity makes for healthy milk but anemic friendships.
We need relationships that cross culturally imposed lines to enlarge our hearts and expand our vistas."
-- Dan Schmidt
avatar
Stardust
Gold Star Member
Gold Star Member

Female
Location : City of Light
Posts : 898
Points : 1229

Re: People are different

Post by Stardust on Fri 19 May 2017, 19:59

29 Jul 2015, 21:44

Candlelight.kk wrote:
John Gray says, "... we demand that the people in our lives feel, think, and behave as we would. And when they react differently we make them wrong or invalidate them; we try to fix them when they really need understanding and nurturing; we try to improve them when instead they need acceptance, appreciation and trust."

We don't do this at all, do we? Not in my experience.

Opposites attract, so "Vive la différence!".


______________________________________________________
A gentle whisper like the breeze sighing, so easy to miss, listen carefully...
avatar
Candlelight.kk
.
.

Female
Location : London
Posts : 2152
Points : 3717

Re: People are different

Post by Candlelight.kk on Fri 19 May 2017, 20:36

03 Aug 2015, 18:36

Stardust wrote:
Candlelight.kk wrote:
John Gray says, "... we demand that the people in our lives feel, think, and behave as we would. And when they react differently we make them wrong or invalidate them; we try to fix them when they really need understanding and nurturing; we try to improve them when instead they need acceptance, appreciation and trust."

We don't do this at all, do we? Not in my experience.

Nor in my experience either, Stardust  very happy - but can you really expect any different from the author of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

I think the above quote comes direct from another of his books 'Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex'.

Here's a review of that book (which just says it all):

Men and women are alien species, writes relationship guru Gray in this 1993 forerunner to his bestselling Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus series, now in paperback. Women are emotional, subjective, relationship-oriented and like to talk about feelings, while men are rational, objective, work-oriented and like to withdraw into their "cave" and watch TV. The mutual incomprehension of the sexes leads to friction and conflicted relationships in which women feel neglected and unloved and men feel nagged and smothered. Rather than denying or suppressing their differences, Gray argues, men and women must acknowledge their masculine and feminine essences and learn to understand, tolerate and value the characteristics of the opposite sex. Men must learn to listen sympathetically ("make reassuring responses like 'hmm,' 'uh-huh,' or 'tell me more,'") while women must learn to give men space. Gray often pushes the essentialism too far ("Illness and disease are manifestations of the dark side of our female self") and treads lightly around issues of sexism. But many readers will see elements of truth in these behavioral stereotypes, and Gray has a perfect pitch for the ways in which misunderstandings can escalate into shouting matches and deep-seated marital bitterness. His is a hopeful message that troubled relationships stem from a simple failure to communicate, but it skirts the possibility that there might be deeper sources of conflict between men and women.
(Nov.) Copyright 2003 Cahners Business Information.


Stardust wrote:
Opposites attract, so "Vive la différence!".

Absolutely!  very happy

    Current date/time is Sun 19 Nov 2017, 12:30