Light After Life

Exploring the mysteries of Life, Death and Beyond. Afterlife, Mediumship, Spiritualism: Death is not the end; I am but waiting for you for an interval ...

Tom's Mum

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Candlelight.kk
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Tom's Mum

Post by Candlelight.kk on Sat 06 May 2017, 08:57

(originally posted on 26 Sep 2008)

Love and healing thoughts to Tom and his mother, who is poorly in hospital at this time.
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Candlelight.kk on Sat 06 May 2017, 08:58

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louby loo
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by louby loo on Sat 06 May 2017, 08:59

love and healing to tom and his mum bless you both loobs xx
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Candlelight.kk on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:01

30 Sep 2008

Please join with me in sending loving thoughts to surround Tom and his family, that they may receive comfort and strength to ease the burden of his mum's sad passing.
Heartfelt condolences for your loss, Tom.
From your friend. xxx
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lynneandjohn on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:02

so sorry to hear this sad news candlelight. please let tom know there are those who care and understand. loving thoughts and healing i will pray for.lynne
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Stardust on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:03

Got a lump in my throat. My thoughts are with Tom and his family that they may have strength and support in these difficult days.


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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by tom on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:06

07 Oct 2008

I have just joined the forum, and would like to thank people for their so kind thoughts.

The funeral is tomorrow, 2pm - I feel reasonably calm at the moment, but who knows about tomorrow.......
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Feather on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:08

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow, Tom. Everyone reacts in their own way to losing a loved one
but I think most people manage to get through the funeral day. The strength just seems to come
when most needed. I know I was on autopilot for weeks when my Mum passed. No matter how
bad a day is, just remember it does pass.Love, Feather.




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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lynneandjohn on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:09

our thoughts are with you tom. you will get through the day somehow, one step at a time and remember we are thinking of you. luv lynne
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Candlelight.kk on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:10

We'll all be with you in thought tomorrow, Tom. Sending love, strength and hugs to you xxx

... and these are for your mum.
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by louby loo on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:11

aww hi tom lots of nice peeps on here you are very welcome love to you and stregnth for tomos bless you loobsx for you tom

so sorry tom my appologies i put for you john just edited it dont know if you saw it i always check my posts and it definetley said tom not john that was my dads name how strange sorry again loobsxx
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Misty on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:12

Sorry for your loss Tom. My thoughts with you and your family also - tomorrow and beyond.
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lar-lar on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:14

blessings tom for tomorrow.xx

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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Stardust on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:15

So sad for you, Tom.


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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by elly on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:17

hope today hasn't been too traumatic for you tom i am sat here thinking of you and how you must be feeling take care
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lynneandjohn on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:18

hi tom, hope you are bearing up. today would have took everything you had so take good care of yourself and know you are all our thoughts. luv lynne

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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by tom on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:20

(originally posted on 09 Oct 2008)

Well, it all went beautifully.  The weather was glorious, and my friend Delphine's service was wonderful - she knew Ma, so could add so much personal stuff.  There were only 11 of us present, but several people said it was the loveliest funeral they'd attended.

I had allowed myself to get a little bitter about the fact that Ma had lived in a sheltered accommodation for over 14 years, but in 4 1/2 weeks in hospital, not a card, flower, visit from any other resident.  Still, it is a "clicky" place, if you know what I mean, and ma kept herself out of the groups.

I was very pleased that Lisa, the Community Matron could come.  She was very kind to Ma, who became increasingly fond of her, as I did.  Lisa gave me a card yesterday with this......Ma's friends called her Nessie

"To Tom
Nessie was the kindest, sweetest person and a pleasure to have as a patient of mine.
She was extremely proud of you and loved you dearly.  I would have liked to have known her longer.
I hope all the nice memories you have of her give you comfort.  I will think of her often
."

That means so much to me, as do all of the caring and generous things people have said here and over on "spiritlove"

The last 2 months have been a bit of a blur - I still have some jobs regarding Ma's death, but I am coping and getting on with them.  Then, I must get my own life back to some sort of normality.  But there is a huge gap................
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lynneandjohn on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:22

hi tom, so glad it went well. its not the quantity of people but the love from each of the persons that attended that matters. it is poor that no card of sympathy or recognition was made from the home, but don't let that trouble you.
trying to find a new normal is difficult but acheivable. i am still trying to find it but i think life doe'snt seem real for a long time for some and an eternity for others.
everything will still be surreal and when that feeling goes is anyones guess.
however when i look back i marvel at how far iv'e come so i'm sure anyone can. i know i will never get over losing my hubby but i will get better at it if you know what i mean.
strength comes and i for one know it is sent by john,my dad and my nan. your mum will be sending you healing and strength too,though it will not feel like it yet.
tell me to shut up if my words upset you regarding your mums continued existence but i so hope it is something that will help you cope in time.
big hug luv lynne
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lar-lar on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:23

That was a beautiful message from the matron so pleased it has given you comfort and the messages here and on s/l also.

All the best tom xxxxxxxx
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Feather on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:25

There is bound to be a huge gap in your life but try to see it as a testimonial to the depth
of love between you and your Ma. Happy memories and that love remain unchanged.
Nothing can take that feeling away from you, Tom. Hold on to it and it will bring you
comfort and peace. That's what saw me through my Mother's passing.Love, Feather(Searcher).


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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by Candlelight.kk on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:30

Nessie was the kindest, sweetest person and a pleasure to have as a patient of mine.
She was extremely proud of you and loved you dearly. I would have liked to have known her longer.
I hope all the nice memories you have of her give you comfort. I will think of her often."

Those beautiful words say so much about your mother, Tom - and about you also.  She must have been a very special lady to have touched the heart so warmingly of one who knew her for just a short while.  You are very fortunate to have had such a special person in your life, and no doubt some wonderful memories that will stay with you always.
Much love to you. Candlelight xxx

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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by tom on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:32

lynneandjohn wrote:hi tom, so glad it went well. its not the quantity of people but the love from each of the persons that attended that matters. it is poor that no card of sympathy or recognition was made from the home, but don't let that trouble you.
trying to find a new normal is difficult but acheivable. i am still trying to find it but i think life doe'snt seem real for a long time for some and an eternity for others.
everything will still be surreal and when that feeling goes is anyones guess.
however when i look back i marvel at how far iv'e come so i'm sure anyone can. i know i will never get over losing my hubby but i will get better at it if you know what i mean.
strength comes and i for one know it is sent by john,my dad and my nan. your mum will be sending you healing and strength too,though it will not feel like it yet.
tell me to shut up if my words upset you regarding your mums continued existence but i so hope it is something that will help you cope in time.
big hug luv lynne

lynne,
 
I wouldn't dream of telling you to shut up, though you probably realise I don't share your views about afterlife.  I have kept myself busy - is it only 2 days since the funeral?  I've sorted out 2 insurances, almost sorted 2 bank accounts - arranged an appointment with a solicitor to swear an oath or something, sorting out the end of tenancy.  Tomorrow, over to the flat to do a last bit of sorting, and Wednesday, someone is coming to arrange clearing the flat - even the 3 year old carpet - good quality - has to be pulled up, apparently.

I don't think it has hit me yet - been keeping myself busy.  The thump will come when everything is sorted, and I have time to think.
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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by lynneandjohn on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:33

hi tom, it is so agonising sorting these things out i know. to have to speak to people about legal matters,deathcertificates and the 100and 1 things that have to be tied up,when you can barely speak is so unbearable.
most people i found were very sympathetic and patient but to actually apply yourself to the things is so very hard.
i hope you have someone to help you deal with these matters tom as it sounds like you are on your own doing this. please take care and don't push yourself too hard. take care luv lynne

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Re: Tom's Mum

Post by tom on Sat 06 May 2017, 09:36

11 Oct 2008

lynneandjohn wrote:hi tom, it is so agonising sorting these things out i know. to have to speak to people about legal matters,deathcertificates and the 100and 1 things that have to be tied up,when you can barely speak is so unbearable.
most people i found were very sympathetic and patient but to actually apply yourself to the things is so very hard.
i hope you have someone to help you deal with these matters tom as it sounds like you are on your own doing this. please take care and don't push yourself too hard. take care luv lynne

lynne,

I probably am trying to do too much too quickly, but it's the way I am - if I have to do something, I just need to get on and do it.  I have no brothers or sisters to share the work, but my partner has been very supportive - doing all the driving when my mind is elsewhere - I absent-mindedly walked in front of a car last week - fortunately the young female driver was alert.

My mind is all over the place - I am thinking I didn't do enough for Ma - should have done more.  I know it's silly - the doctors and nurses did everything, so what could I do?  I expect it is all part of the grieving process.

We've been over to the flat again today - the last of going through drawers and cupboards, I hope.  I'll be taking some purses and niknaks to a charity shop on Monday.

Thank you for your understanding - it has been a real help.  Tom.

    Current date/time is Mon 23 Oct 2017, 14:15